Still The Same

Standard

Something has been gnawing away at me the past week and I’ve been having a hard time articulating what exactly it is. The Toronto Fringe is on and my feeds have been flooded with emotional posts about the ups and downs of mounting a show, of the love people have felt when it’s received well, of the anger and abuse they feel when there’s an unfavourable review – the consistent thing is that everyone seems to rally around and declare their support;

“All Fringe shows deserve a 5 star review”

” This review was unfair, we need to all get out and support the show”

“I’m overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from everyone, thank you”

Looking at this you’d think we all exist in a very supportive, inclusive community.

We don’t.

I’ve written before about my shitty experiences with Theatre 20 and in particular, Brian Goldenberg, and doubtless some will read this and think I should let it go. The problem is, nothing has changed. At least, not for the perpetrators.

This year Brian has 3 shows in the Toronto Fringe Festival – a good friend of mine is acting in one of them, something this friend avoided telling me so as not to make things “awkward”. He knows the whole story. He was one of the first people I told, years ago, when this started. He doesn’t mind working with someone who knowingly discriminated against someone because of a mental illness and who thought that someone deserves to be fired if they try to assert their human rights.

This topic has come up several times in the past few days, while hanging around the tent, and I’ve been told by multiple friends that they know the story, believe me, but will not be saying anything or changing the way they interact with him because they’ve known him for a while and again, don’t want to make things “awkward”. Don’t want to cause any “trouble”. They support me, they’re just not willing to show that, or say that to anyone but me.

The same thing happened when I first wrote about this. I kept quiet for over a year, waiting until I had proof, posting the results of a legal hearing rather than sharing my own thoughts and feelings. I was right. That was proven, non-subjective. A lot of people read that blog. Quite a few sent me private messages and shared similar stories about the men in question. But no one from the community said anything out in the open. Nothing changed.

Around that time a reporter (someone who knows well and writes about the theatre) reached out to do an interview about it. I had hopes that, with this being published in something major, more would see it and maybe something would change. Delays caused it to eventually be dropped. I don’t blame him, he’s reached out a couple times to apologize, once quite recently. He said there may be something happening soon that could lead to him reviving the story – I hope so. But for now, nothing has happened. Nothing changed.

I saw Brian in the audience at a performance the other night, ironically for a show about a woman who struggles with anxiety and depression and eventually leaves her job because of it. Shows like this are celebrated because it’s “important to eliminate the stigma” around mental health, to recognize it as a serious, legitimate illness, to support those who are suffering – but here is a documented, proven case of discrimination having taken place in our own tiny community, and nothing has changed. He didn’t even bother to come to the hearing. It didn’t cost him his job, clearly hasn’t damaged his reputation. He did read the post, because he contacted the HRTO (with me cc’d) to accuse me (wrongly) of slander, so clearly he knows that this behaviour should be damaging, but his lack of recognition let alone an apology tells me he really doesn’t care.

None of this changed him, but it did change me.

I missed weeks of work leading up to the hearing, costing me money I couldn’t afford to lose, piling on to the already nearly unbearable stress I deal with from my anxiety, daily, I’m sure it damaged my reputation because whether it was justified or not, no one wants an employee who misses 3 weeks of work, and here we are, another year later, and I’m still feeling the residual effects. I question my importance to my friends, and whether there’s any point in confiding in them. I question the support of my community, and whether there’s any sincerity behind the daily posts about acceptance and inclusion. I question myself, and whether saying this will give me any peace of mind or just further isolate me. I question whether I want to be a part of a community that seems to be more interested in appearing inclusive and supportive than actually doing anything to achieve that.

It’s time for something to change.

Toronto Fringe Festival Review: Anywhere

Standard
Anywhere - 2018 Toronto Fringe - Photo by Emily Dix

Cass Van Wyck and Courtney Ch’ng Lancaster in Anywhere at the 2018 Toronto Fringe.

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing the latest by Dora-nominated playwright Michael Ross Albert (Tough Jews, The Grass is Greenest at the Houston Astrodome): the 141 Collective’s production of Anywhere. In this timely new thriller, Liz (Courtney Ch’ng Lancaster), a young business woman away at a conference, returns home to her AirBnB to find her host, Joy (Cass Van Wyck), has been waiting up for her. What starts as a cordial and relatively typical conversation quickly unravels as we learn of their drunken encounter the previous night, one that leaves the two women fighting in a dark and increasingly frightening battle for control.

The show has a stellar cast – Courtney Ch’ng Lancaster epitomizes the uptight, bland businesswoman, one whose life has become so mundane that a bus tour conference and night partying with a stranger, her single-mom AirBnB host Joy, is clearly the most thrilling thing to happen to her in months. As the night wears on drinks are poured and secrets are revealed, leading to the unnerving realization that all the patience and polite conversation is a front, and the audience meets the real Liz, one who is cutting, competitive, and fiercely cynical. As Joy, the single-mother to a terminally ill 8-year-old, Cass Van Wyck elicits both sympathy and disgust, as her lifestyle choices make us question her suitability as a parent, and her motives in revealing herself to her guest make us question her morality. The clever writing combined with the subtle acting choices of both woman leave us wondering who the real victim is in this bizarre game of cat and mouse.

While I was impressed by the acting and writing, the directing by David Lafontaine unfortunately left something to be desired. Staging was too stationary, and often I felt as though the actors had been told to move just for something to do. We lost the full potential of some well-charged moments that were oddly staged upstage, obscured by the large and, I think, unnecessary dining table. Too often the actors, as well as the majority of the set pieces, were playing in the same plane, making it so that the movement was noticeably less dynamic than the words and emotion being presented onstage. I hope this show continues to have a life after Fringe, and that some changes are made to staging to allow it to see its full potential.

Cass Van Wyck Cass Van Wyck and Courtney Ch'ng Lancaster in "Anywhere" at the 2018 Toronto Fringe.

Photo by Emily Dix

**SPOILER ALERT**

Aside from the unimpressive staging, the only issue I found with this play was in the last minute and a half, where the sudden change in in momentum left me confused, rather than shaken, as I think was intended. After a fight between Liz and Joy becomes physical, Liz whacks Joy over the head with a large, heavy chessboard, knocking her to the ground and leaving her seemingly, for a moment, unconscious. This is how I expected the play to end; Joy, now seriously injured if not dead, is left lying in a pool of blood on the floor, while Liz, realizing there is no turning back from the culmination of strange events in what should have been the most mundane of weeks, takes the place she held at the start of the play. I imagined Liz would sit down and wait, knowing that what led them to this place didn’t matter, because regardless of who was right and who had “won” the battle, she had been the one to call “checkmate” and end the war. She had sealed her own fate. Instead, Joy suddenly leaps from the ground, now covered in blood, and stumbles forward confused, shrieking that she can’t see. The lights dim as Liz cradles Joy’s bleeding head her in her hands, telling her not to worry because her son Ethan is “right there”. I’m not sure what we’re meant to take away here – is Joy’s confusion the result of a head injury? Of the night’s drinking? Both? Is Liz’s sudden compassion out of fear? Guilt? Is Joy dying? After an hour of well-scripted, naturally building tension I found these last few moments questioned all of the night’s events, but not in a way that left me intrigued so much as just confused.

**END OF SPOILERS**

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this production. In a digital age where we can learn intimate details about a person before even meeting them, Anywhere is a necessary examination of the difference between intimacy and knowledge, and with a knock-out cast of rising indie stars Courtney Ch’ng Lancaster and Cass Van Wyck, this is surely one to add to your “must see” list.

E.

Toronto Fringe Festival Review: The Joy of Sax

Standard

What makes the Fringe Festival so fun is that you really never know what you’re going to get when you shuffle into the theatre at some odd time of day: I certainly wasn’t expecting what I saw this afternoon at The Joy of Sax, Flash in the Deadpan’s Toronto Fringe production. Described by the company as fitting into the “new genre of saxploitation comedy”, The Joy of Sax is a bizarre tale of a young man named Luke (Cam Parkes) who inherits his father’s saxophone and finds that he has a special gift – no, not a musical talent (much to my dismay, the only sounds to come out of the horn were loud, blasting screeches), but the inexplicable ability to arouse and lead to orgasm any who are within earshot of his “music”. Can’t say that it’s not original! Continue reading

Me Too.

Standard
“If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet,” she wrote. The movement started in response to the Harvey Weinstein scandal and its ensuing fall out.
Every girl on my Facebook changed their status to this yesterday. Another very small step towards solidarity that will ultimately not change anything. It’s frustrating. I’m going to rant now, apologies if it’s not the best written piece on here.
I’m sure most of us have more than one story, especially considering harassment is included in this, and that’s something that is often endured on a weekly, and for some, daily basis. As for assault, the numbers there are frighteningly high as well. I remember being in grade 7, and being told by our teacher that 1 in 5 of us would be assaulted in our lifetime; sitting with a group of 5 girls, this stuck with me. Now, as an adult, I’ve heard that statistic raised to 1 in 4, and I know that out of that group from so many years ago at least 2 had that fate.
So how is this status change helping? I think all of us reasonable people know that, even if we don’t know which ones, someone we are close to has been the victim of sexual harassment or assault. The problem with these simple little remarks is that they are not calling out the people who are the perpetrators, and often, when someone does, they are labeled a vindictive bitch, and find their personal lives being scrutinized by those who are sure they were somehow “asking for it”. We all know about the victims, but how about the scum that made them victims in the first place?
Admittedly, there’s a lot of reasons for someone to not want to come forward and name names. And I myself have stories I am not interested in sharing. But as one of them has already been written about twice on this blog, and is a matter of public record, I’m going to share it one more time.
In 2015 I worked for Theatre 20, and I thought I had my dream job, working there as Producer. I was wrong. I won’t bother getting into all the hell that was a part of the daily job, because it’s off topic, instead I’ll skip ahead to the sexual harassment that somehow lead to me, rather than the perpetrator, being fired.
As I mentioned in a past blog, Chris Weber (currently working as VP of Whole Life Balance Canada), a married man 11 years my senior who was a member of our Board, and so in a position of power, had on numerous times made inappropriate advances. The only one which I had real “proof” of, and so what was the main focus of that aspect of my HRTO claim, was a text message in which he stated he wanted to see me in a “shorter dress”.
screenshot-2016-12-17-21-00-32
Admittedly, much worse things have been said, but given the power imbalance this concerned me enough to mention it to my boss, who also happened to be the only other (full-time) employee at the company, Brian Goldenberg. Apparently he never addressed it in any way, and in the evidence for the hearing (he didn’t actually bother to attend the hearing himself), tried to say I had told him it was “no big deal” – not sure why I would’ve bothered saying anything if that was the case…
Eventually, the harassment from Weber and other members of the board got to the point where I felt I couldn’t work there under those circumstances, and I told Brian this. I asked him to deal with it, and when weeks went by with no change, I said that if he wouldn’t do something about it, I would. I offered to speak to the Board myself, and advised that if the inappropriate behaviour didn’t stop after that, I would be forced to file a Human Rights claim about it. For this, I was fired.
Again, you can read all about it in my blog, Finally, but the gist of it is, I was fired with no notice and no cause, and at the hearing won my case, with the HRTO determining that they were guilty of Sexual Harassment (Weber, specifically, though this was against the company, not an individual), and Threat of Reprisal (Brian, in this case). I was supposed to be awarded financial compensation for this, but they have ignored this judgement as well as letters from my lawyer, so here we are, years after the initial incident, and all that has changed is I no longer work there (well, in fairness, the company did fold, but for different reasons).
Why would anyone speak up? I lost my job over it. I wasn’t traumatized from the harassment so that was the worst of it, if you don’t count the years of time and money and stress trying to take this through court. I won my case, which should mean that something is done but they refuse to pay the small amount of money I was awarded, and the perpetrators continue to work in the same community (Brian had a show in the Fringe this past year), and the HRTO isn’t punitive so essentially nothing was done to either of them. And this is still a better turnout than a lot of women have. Some try a civil case and throw thousands of dollars into it. Some try criminal (where worse things have happened), and are attacked on the stand as the defence tries to paint them as some whore. I’ve heard so many terrible stories from people I know, that are not mine to share, but I can say I’m not surprised that they didn’t speak up. It rarely goes well. So I guess this #metoo is the safest way someone can say something because basically everyone can say it (isn’t that a disgusting thought?).
But you know what I’d love to see? (and I know, this totally makes me a vindictive bitch out on a “witchhunt”), instead of #metoo how about #hedid, and you name the fucker who’s put you through shit. Let’s stop quietly adding ourselves to the list of people who are treated like meat, or treated like idiots, or treated like bitches if we dare to stand up for ourselves. This is not something where the focus should be on the victims, it should be on a perpetrators. Maybe that will stop them, or at least warn the next girl to watch out. I’m so sick of seeing how many people are a part of #metoo.
/End rant.

Toronto Fringe Festival Review: 32 Short Sketches About Bees

Standard

Clear Glass Productions’s performance of 32 Short Sketches About Bees is a fast-paced mash-up of ridiculous scenes all tied together through the incredibly simple (but surprisingly diverse) theme of “bees” (or “Bea”, “B”, “be”… you get the idea). Playing now at the Toronto Fringe Festival. Check out another one of my 2017 Toronto Fringe Festival reviews via Mooney on Theatre.

Toronto Fringe Festival Review: Caitlin & Eric Are Broken Up

Standard

“You can’t be that attractive and funny” — well, not unless you’re Caitlin Robson and Eric Miinch. Catch the comedic duo in Caitlin & Eric Are Broken Up, produced by Squeaky Wheel, and playing now at the Toronto Fringe Festival. Check out another one of my 2017 Toronto Fringe Festival reviews via Mooney on Theatre.

Toronto Fringe Festival Review: Murder In The Cottonwoods

Standard

When leaving the theatre after seeing Murder In The Cottonwoods, I had stuck in my head a line from Rocky Horror that I think perfectly summed up my experience of the show; “a mental mind-f*ck can be nice.” A bizarre tale of murder set in a town that could be 1950s middle America if it weren’t for the Seinfeld references, Murder In The Cottonwoods may be the strangest show you’ll see at this year’s Fringe Festival. If you are a fan of David Lynch, then this show is for you: it’s Twin Peaks meets Pleasantville in this surreal “romantic nightmare.” Check out another one of my 2017 Toronto Fringe Festival reviews via Mooney on Theatre.